I decided that I will stop blogging for now. I do not think I am in the correct mental state to continue posting.
I will start blogging again when I can.
I received your letter, I'll write back soon.
Yours truly,
Chong Wen
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
The one where I sound desperate
I wonder when I'll finally be able to walk home alone without having to notice the emptiness of my heart. School restarted and has been able to carry me throughout the day in a positive mood. I'm not anymore different than I was before, still talking and joking and mentally tormenting classmates. But the moment we say our dry goodbyes of "dudehood" and part ways, there is no longer anyone left to put a show on for. In the past, some 2 years ago, if I walked home alone, I bear no smile. Not because I was upset or depressed, but because there was nothing to smile for. Trivial thoughts just flew through my mind, circling a few rounds before exiting via my ear. And then came a small period of sunshine. Life was worth living, worth waking up for and not because the Law told you too, but because you want to. Lonely walks home are joyful, a small hint of a smile was stuck on face as I skipped home humming tunes of The Corrs and Michael Buble and others. Now. Now I go home quietly. No skip in my step, no happy tune. It was just as dull as I used to be.
But there is a difference.
Trivial thoughts no longer fly through my head.
Sad thoughts do.
I sound whiny and pathetic, ranting about how unfortunate I am when I know somewhere in Africa a child is starving or somewhere in Malaysia, a Malaysian has an epiphany that he is indeed a Malaysian and starts crying.
But I am sad.
It has been 15 days since any known contact from you. Today you posted a song. I know we have this agreement here, but all I wanted to do all day is to reach for the phone and dial your number and ask you: "How was your day?". But I resist with much difficulty. I am trying my very best to give you want you want, space, time, thought. But I really really wish, want, hope, pray, to the bottom of my heart, to every fiber of my body, to every ounce of spirituality I possess, that you would just send me some sort of contact. A smiley message, a promised letter, a simple teeny mention on post, logging on MSN and not putting your status as "Appear Offline", even a poke on facebook.
I sound desperate. I must be. I want to use my facebook account.
I miss you.
But there is a difference.
Trivial thoughts no longer fly through my head.
Sad thoughts do.
I sound whiny and pathetic, ranting about how unfortunate I am when I know somewhere in Africa a child is starving or somewhere in Malaysia, a Malaysian has an epiphany that he is indeed a Malaysian and starts crying.
But I am sad.
It has been 15 days since any known contact from you. Today you posted a song. I know we have this agreement here, but all I wanted to do all day is to reach for the phone and dial your number and ask you: "How was your day?". But I resist with much difficulty. I am trying my very best to give you want you want, space, time, thought. But I really really wish, want, hope, pray, to the bottom of my heart, to every fiber of my body, to every ounce of spirituality I possess, that you would just send me some sort of contact. A smiley message, a promised letter, a simple teeny mention on post, logging on MSN and not putting your status as "Appear Offline", even a poke on facebook.
I sound desperate. I must be. I want to use my facebook account.
I miss you.
Monday, June 15, 2009
That one
It takes 5 days for a letter to reach you.
It takes 15 mins for me to personally hand it to you instead.
Remaining connections are dulled, diluted, nulified. They exist as a single thin thread, invisible in the light, easily broken and thrown away.
I feel nothing.
It takes 15 mins for me to personally hand it to you instead.
Remaining connections are dulled, diluted, nulified. They exist as a single thin thread, invisible in the light, easily broken and thrown away.
I feel nothing.
Friday, June 12, 2009
For you once more.
In the wee hours of the night, I had just lost the one thing in this world that made me happy. The one thing that made me smile in the morning and go to sleep with a happy heart. I have lost the only thing I can truly care for, the only thing that has made me less selfish as a person. In my last actions, my last actions of love, devotion and care, I grant the request made. Ill let go. Even if it means I end up in a worst world.
Goodbye.
So long.
Take Care.
Goodbye.
So long.
Take Care.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
For you
1. What is the relationship of you with him/her?
As of now, I don't know
2. Your 5 impressions towards him/her?
a) Honest
b) Thoughtful
c) Cautious
d) Diligent
e) Beautiful
3. The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?
- Celebrate my Birthday, be there
4. The most memorable thing he/she has said to you?
-"You're Beautiful"
5. If he/she becomes your lover, you will..
There are no proper words to express my feelings.
6. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will..
Blame myself.
7. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on..
Loving me.
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is..
Because of me.
9. The most desirable thing to do for him/her is?
Give him time and understanding.
10. The overall impression of him/her is..
In very many ways, amazing.
10 months ago...
As of now, I don't know
2. Your 5 impressions towards him/her?
a) Honest
b) Thoughtful
c) Cautious
d) Diligent
e) Beautiful
3. The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?
- Celebrate my Birthday, be there
4. The most memorable thing he/she has said to you?
-"You're Beautiful"
5. If he/she becomes your lover, you will..
There are no proper words to express my feelings.
6. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will..
Blame myself.
7. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on..
Loving me.
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is..
Because of me.
9. The most desirable thing to do for him/her is?
Give him time and understanding.
10. The overall impression of him/her is..
In very many ways, amazing.
10 months ago...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
The one with cutest picture you will ever see
Things base and vile, folding no quantity,
Love can transpose to form and dignity:
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind
Understand?
Love can transpose to form and dignity:
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind
Understand?
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The one with the Picture of Selma Hayek
Happy 16th Birthday James! You can hit this now!
Went to the class outing. Was much fun.
I went swimming in the Sea with Ivan, Hui Xiang, Stacie, Chery, Huiyu, Denton, Ghee Wei. I was carrying Stacie on my back when I told her I was going to grab onto my pants so I can stop her from falling off me. She misheard me and grabbed my pants. She had to get off me so she could laugh her system normal after I told her what I actually said.
5 Years ago, when I was in Pri 6, I learned to roller skate in school. That was my first and only time rollerblading. Today when I put on skates, I froze on the spot. I could only remember how to balance. I changed for a bike later.
I cycled from one end of East Coast to the other, roughly 6.5km (inclusive of Pier Ghee Wei!) and on the way back, Ghee Wei in Skates was struggling to stay up...poor him. Today, I had no urge to punch him. I think its the school uniforms that make me all weird.
Went to the class outing. Was much fun.
I went swimming in the Sea with Ivan, Hui Xiang, Stacie, Chery, Huiyu, Denton, Ghee Wei. I was carrying Stacie on my back when I told her I was going to grab onto my pants so I can stop her from falling off me. She misheard me and grabbed my pants. She had to get off me so she could laugh her system normal after I told her what I actually said.
5 Years ago, when I was in Pri 6, I learned to roller skate in school. That was my first and only time rollerblading. Today when I put on skates, I froze on the spot. I could only remember how to balance. I changed for a bike later.
I cycled from one end of East Coast to the other, roughly 6.5km (inclusive of Pier Ghee Wei!) and on the way back, Ghee Wei in Skates was struggling to stay up...poor him. Today, I had no urge to punch him. I think its the school uniforms that make me all weird.
Monday, June 8, 2009
The one with the missing Orange Tarmac from Changi
So, I was online just searching around the good ole web when I found this.
That is what Miss Singapore wore for the Miss Universe National Culture Costumes segment. What the hell is that? It looks like she went to Mediacorp and stole that costume from the set of the stupid Nonya show. To be honest, the dress is just plain, but what I really cannot stand is that she destroyed Singapore's diminishing bio-diversity by plucking sea coral, spray-painting it gold and then stuck it on her head? Are they trying to compensate hair? Or are they trying to hide those ears that sticks out like an exicted teenage boy?
If you thought this was bad, see what they sent the next one in.
Attention, Attention, there is an orange tarmac missing from Changi Airport...
Do Singapore tailors just suck at making dresses? Or does our "culture" just suck.
Sigh, why doesn't Singapore have a cool culture like Hungary
Or Croatia...
Or Greece...
Heh heh... Or El Salvador, Don't you just love their Latino flavour?
Or something exotic like Lebanon's...
Why can't our culture be like Turkey's! I mean just look her. -Dress. Her dress. Look at her dress, isn't it so... cultural.
That is what Miss Singapore wore for the Miss Universe National Culture Costumes segment. What the hell is that? It looks like she went to Mediacorp and stole that costume from the set of the stupid Nonya show. To be honest, the dress is just plain, but what I really cannot stand is that she destroyed Singapore's diminishing bio-diversity by plucking sea coral, spray-painting it gold and then stuck it on her head? Are they trying to compensate hair? Or are they trying to hide those ears that sticks out like an exicted teenage boy?
If you thought this was bad, see what they sent the next one in.
Attention, Attention, there is an orange tarmac missing from Changi Airport...
Do Singapore tailors just suck at making dresses? Or does our "culture" just suck.
Sigh, why doesn't Singapore have a cool culture like Hungary
Or Croatia...
Or Greece...
Heh heh... Or El Salvador, Don't you just love their Latino flavour?
Or something exotic like Lebanon's...
Why can't our culture be like Turkey's! I mean just look her. -Dress. Her dress. Look at her dress, isn't it so... cultural.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The one with the 4 Cultures
Knowing that many Singaporeans do not have much of an attention span to fully enjoy this, (Yes Ivan, Im talking about how dialogue in movies bore you), this is mainly for the very few, few, few, few, few, few people who I know will appreciate it (Yes Ben, Im talking about you)
http://www.youtube.com/homeproject
Even if you dont listen to it, the shots are amazing.
There are four types of Singaporeans in Singapore. They have different customs, thinking, interest, well-being and lifestyles, from these four, they can be further sub-catergorised into many other groups. But let us stick with these four. No, they are not Indian, Malay, Chinese, Eurasian. They are groups that are slowly drawing lines across Singapore Society which over the cross of 50 years, will deepen.
There are Sino-influenced people, people who take their ideas and life choices from mainly Asian sources, China, Japan, Taiwan, Korea. They are safe, cautious, who prefer not taking risk but follow the rules. To stay under the radar, to keep with what they know. They follow maintstream music from the top 100 Billboards of both C,J,K-pop as well as American Popstars.
There are Euro-influenced people, people who take their ideas and life choices from mainly European or American sources. They are outgoing, outspoken, brash, loud and open, putting themselves in the front line and risk for the slim chance of a reward. They listen to music outside of mainstream along with the mainstream, Jazz, Classical, Indie, foriegn languages.
There are the "Malay" Culture, the youths of some Malays who seek out to create a seperate, distinct and overall unconformist culture, to mark in retaliaion of the larger more domineering Chinese influences in Singapore. They are a compromise of both the Sino and Euro influenced people. They, on the surface behave like the Euros but in actual character, when faced with a challendge, lean to the Sino values.
And lastly, There are the Old Culture, the culture of our parents and grandparents, of the old cultures that are in out blood but no longer in our hearts. The origins of this culture still strives in China, Malaysia and Indonesia as well as India, but die here in replacement with the three forementioned cultures. In time, there will only be three Culture.
How do you know which culture you are in? Well the video link above, If you watched a significatn portion or the whole video, you are Euro-influenced. If not, Sino.
http://www.youtube.com/homeproject
Even if you dont listen to it, the shots are amazing.
There are four types of Singaporeans in Singapore. They have different customs, thinking, interest, well-being and lifestyles, from these four, they can be further sub-catergorised into many other groups. But let us stick with these four. No, they are not Indian, Malay, Chinese, Eurasian. They are groups that are slowly drawing lines across Singapore Society which over the cross of 50 years, will deepen.
There are Sino-influenced people, people who take their ideas and life choices from mainly Asian sources, China, Japan, Taiwan, Korea. They are safe, cautious, who prefer not taking risk but follow the rules. To stay under the radar, to keep with what they know. They follow maintstream music from the top 100 Billboards of both C,J,K-pop as well as American Popstars.
There are Euro-influenced people, people who take their ideas and life choices from mainly European or American sources. They are outgoing, outspoken, brash, loud and open, putting themselves in the front line and risk for the slim chance of a reward. They listen to music outside of mainstream along with the mainstream, Jazz, Classical, Indie, foriegn languages.
There are the "Malay" Culture, the youths of some Malays who seek out to create a seperate, distinct and overall unconformist culture, to mark in retaliaion of the larger more domineering Chinese influences in Singapore. They are a compromise of both the Sino and Euro influenced people. They, on the surface behave like the Euros but in actual character, when faced with a challendge, lean to the Sino values.
And lastly, There are the Old Culture, the culture of our parents and grandparents, of the old cultures that are in out blood but no longer in our hearts. The origins of this culture still strives in China, Malaysia and Indonesia as well as India, but die here in replacement with the three forementioned cultures. In time, there will only be three Culture.
How do you know which culture you are in? Well the video link above, If you watched a significatn portion or the whole video, you are Euro-influenced. If not, Sino.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
The one with Dr Laura
I found this on the net. It was funny I loled.
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are heathens. My friend says that you can buy a Muslim buy not a Jew. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Jews?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are heathens. My friend says that you can buy a Muslim buy not a Jew. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Jews?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
Friday, May 29, 2009
The one with my shallow disappointments
I sit by the computer, typing and pondering over my mixed match thoughts on life as a whole. There are many problems within my life that I wish would just simply vanish into thin air, to be forgotten and to be ignored. Everyone has baggage, everyone wishes that their problems would also simply just melt away. For Wei Chin, its the decision whether or not to drop to Basic Chinese, for Ghee Wei, I suppose is the ever-hanging present rush to complete and qualify for DSA, for Obama would be the hardline attacks of the Republican party, and for Rush Limbaugh, the actual chance that Obama will suceed. My problems don't are not any less troubling. I have disappointing grades, a lazy bone within my body and as many of you would agree upon, a fat ass.
Procrastination is my vice.
Ghee Wei's achievements are my envy.
The Mid Years are my shallow disappointments.
The school is my oppressor.
Laze is my greed.
My heart is my battleground.
My Mind is my punishment.
Mr Muru, has always quoted (again, and again and again: We get it) that by having a school and education is a priviledge - along with the toilet, free thought, student logic and detention - that we should appreciate. But sometimes I think that it is the opposite. I think that we are sometimes jealous, are envious of that Colombian Peasant Farmer who is too poor for school. He has no pressure to suceed, he has reached the bar intended for him. He has no future, for he does not need to think that far. We think of future careers, NS, University choices, love and appreciation. Things too far in the future to achieve but way too close to ignore. The farmer thinks of his next meal and where he will sleep tonight.
We are sad people, whose lives are govern by someone else's thought and action.
Procrastination is my vice.
Ghee Wei's achievements are my envy.
The Mid Years are my shallow disappointments.
The school is my oppressor.
Laze is my greed.
My heart is my battleground.
My Mind is my punishment.
Mr Muru, has always quoted (again, and again and again: We get it) that by having a school and education is a priviledge - along with the toilet, free thought, student logic and detention - that we should appreciate. But sometimes I think that it is the opposite. I think that we are sometimes jealous, are envious of that Colombian Peasant Farmer who is too poor for school. He has no pressure to suceed, he has reached the bar intended for him. He has no future, for he does not need to think that far. We think of future careers, NS, University choices, love and appreciation. Things too far in the future to achieve but way too close to ignore. The farmer thinks of his next meal and where he will sleep tonight.
We are sad people, whose lives are govern by someone else's thought and action.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The one with the flying breathing Dinosaurs
I thought it was some sort of joke or a personal ad for herion addicts with dragon-sex fetishes. And then I realise, it was something worse. It was a Chinese Pop Album Cover.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SUPPOSE TO BE? TO SCARE CHILDREN?
*Imagines a parent buying that and threatening their children to do their homework or they will hang it over their bed.
One day, Ja- I mean Gay Chou was sitting in a bean bag chair made of used cardigans and skinnies that frantic fangirls rip off from their boyfriends(because these days, boys wear Girl clothes and girls wear genie pants) and threw on stage when he suddenly realised that his hair was obstructing the view of his eyes and finally linked it with why he dresses so bad wearing shiny silk cowboy shirts. Because he can't fucking see the mirror.
"Ew... Why did I try that Hannah Montana look..." He went lifting his fringe up.
As he was wondered how the hell his manager pin that ugly shit-of-a-tie onto his neck, he thought of a brand new album!
*Rolls eyes
If I have offended anyone else named Jay, I am deeply sorry. Mostly because you share the same name with this bugger here.
But you see, this Jay, donned a Star Trek Armour, wielding a weapon I can only assume that he stole from Maple Story, with fire-breathing pterodactyls swirling the skys of a city he drew for his Primary School Art club and got an A+ on. His art teacher, Ms Kimberly, thought the Fire-breathing reptiles were a nice touch. The album's name is Capricorn. Someone explain to me how a freakin goat is related to Flying, fire-breathing dinosaurs?
You see he is Gay and not Jay, because you have to be that Gay in order to think of a something as gay as this cover. Therefore, I am convinced that his marketing manager misspelt Gay into Jay. For you have to just as EQUALLY gay as the cover to buy it.
I bet someone got fired.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SUPPOSE TO BE? TO SCARE CHILDREN?
*Imagines a parent buying that and threatening their children to do their homework or they will hang it over their bed.
One day, Ja- I mean Gay Chou was sitting in a bean bag chair made of used cardigans and skinnies that frantic fangirls rip off from their boyfriends(because these days, boys wear Girl clothes and girls wear genie pants) and threw on stage when he suddenly realised that his hair was obstructing the view of his eyes and finally linked it with why he dresses so bad wearing shiny silk cowboy shirts. Because he can't fucking see the mirror.
"Ew... Why did I try that Hannah Montana look..." He went lifting his fringe up.
As he was wondered how the hell his manager pin that ugly shit-of-a-tie onto his neck, he thought of a brand new album!
*Rolls eyes
If I have offended anyone else named Jay, I am deeply sorry. Mostly because you share the same name with this bugger here.
But you see, this Jay, donned a Star Trek Armour, wielding a weapon I can only assume that he stole from Maple Story, with fire-breathing pterodactyls swirling the skys of a city he drew for his Primary School Art club and got an A+ on. His art teacher, Ms Kimberly, thought the Fire-breathing reptiles were a nice touch. The album's name is Capricorn. Someone explain to me how a freakin goat is related to Flying, fire-breathing dinosaurs?
You see he is Gay and not Jay, because you have to be that Gay in order to think of a something as gay as this cover. Therefore, I am convinced that his marketing manager misspelt Gay into Jay. For you have to just as EQUALLY gay as the cover to buy it.
I bet someone got fired.
Friday, April 17, 2009
The one with the naked reading
Oh god, it was so long ago when I lasted blogged. I blame School.
Sometimes after I take a shower, I will stumble into my bedroom wearing nothing but a towel, pluck a book from the shelf and just collaspe onto the bed. Aside from the towel that uh... shields my bed from my uh.. "specialness", I would be naked and feel so gooo-OOd about it. In other words, I enjoy reading naked on my bed. It is a most liberating feeling. After showering, my skin would usually feel - oh so - smooth, clean and comfortable. Now, if you are reading this, you must be going:
But gently put aside the idea of a naked "me" and ponder about it. After showering, I am in the cleanest state possible, lying on top of the most comfortable surface in my house, "wearing" the least restrictive, least uncomfortable "suit" while partaking in a relaxing activity. It does not get better than this.
The bad part is when people knock on your locked door.
Sigh.
Sometimes after I take a shower, I will stumble into my bedroom wearing nothing but a towel, pluck a book from the shelf and just collaspe onto the bed. Aside from the towel that uh... shields my bed from my uh.. "specialness", I would be naked and feel so gooo-OOd about it. In other words, I enjoy reading naked on my bed. It is a most liberating feeling. After showering, my skin would usually feel - oh so - smooth, clean and comfortable. Now, if you are reading this, you must be going:
But gently put aside the idea of a naked "me" and ponder about it. After showering, I am in the cleanest state possible, lying on top of the most comfortable surface in my house, "wearing" the least restrictive, least uncomfortable "suit" while partaking in a relaxing activity. It does not get better than this.
The bad part is when people knock on your locked door.
Sigh.
Friday, March 27, 2009
The one with the "stupid blowjob"
It has been quite a term in school. I should work harder now but temptation to slack is rather high. I drew up a new schedule that will hopefully to me back on track on working for a good 4 hrs a day. My weekends will be spent at the libraries revising work and so on. The temptation to goof off is lower at a bookkeepers hideout. Though, ill be ready to take a break when my uh... important person has reached me... yeah you guys know who im talking about.
Aloysius Charles (Dill Harris Baker John Elisabeth-Evevlyn) Lim, has been quite a friend these few months. Last year, I didnt spend much time with him for Ghee Wei had a strong grip over him when we were fighting a silent battle. Aloysius was on "his side". This year, he is conveniently located just behind me in class and talking to him is very easy. Our conversation topics range from a common ground of math and religious discussion, god and christianity and all, though faithfully ignoring any soccer topics. I would just feint interest and nod when he brings it up. His company is rather enlightening even interesting.
This year my bio lab partner is Denton. Until this year, I never quite talked to him, we never had the chance. But he shares with me his dreams on becoming a zoologist, often consulting me when it comes to career moves, during Bio. We make good conversation, joking and making rude comments about various biology topics especially regarding the Human reproduction system.
Amanda Woo and Goh (Herry Michael) Cheezer, remind me of an old married couple. They bicker, they fight, they call each other affectionally "blowjob" and "gay". Yet they are good friends. I found it sweet that Cheeser went to the effort to buy her an entire cake for her birthday. It is almost like flirting, in my opinion when they fight.
"Qize! Stop singing! So disgusting"
"Shut up, stupid blowjob"
*hits Qize "Bitch"
Then again, Qize does sing very bad. It is horrible.
I wish CCA was more fufilling. Back in the day, under Ben's presidency, I felt like I was doing something important to improve my self and my CCA. But due to weak leadership and my lack of power to do anything about it, after the first batch left CCA, the CCA has been steadily getting worse. Now the club has broken down to wasting time in front of computers, searching for youtube videos and miniclip games. Gone are the days where people work, do filming, editing, and sort of learning. Here are the days that are crappers.
Aloysius Charles (Dill Harris Baker John Elisabeth-Evevlyn) Lim, has been quite a friend these few months. Last year, I didnt spend much time with him for Ghee Wei had a strong grip over him when we were fighting a silent battle. Aloysius was on "his side". This year, he is conveniently located just behind me in class and talking to him is very easy. Our conversation topics range from a common ground of math and religious discussion, god and christianity and all, though faithfully ignoring any soccer topics. I would just feint interest and nod when he brings it up. His company is rather enlightening even interesting.
This year my bio lab partner is Denton. Until this year, I never quite talked to him, we never had the chance. But he shares with me his dreams on becoming a zoologist, often consulting me when it comes to career moves, during Bio. We make good conversation, joking and making rude comments about various biology topics especially regarding the Human reproduction system.
Amanda Woo and Goh (Herry Michael) Cheezer, remind me of an old married couple. They bicker, they fight, they call each other affectionally "blowjob" and "gay". Yet they are good friends. I found it sweet that Cheeser went to the effort to buy her an entire cake for her birthday. It is almost like flirting, in my opinion when they fight.
"Qize! Stop singing! So disgusting"
"Shut up, stupid blowjob"
*hits Qize "Bitch"
Then again, Qize does sing very bad. It is horrible.
I wish CCA was more fufilling. Back in the day, under Ben's presidency, I felt like I was doing something important to improve my self and my CCA. But due to weak leadership and my lack of power to do anything about it, after the first batch left CCA, the CCA has been steadily getting worse. Now the club has broken down to wasting time in front of computers, searching for youtube videos and miniclip games. Gone are the days where people work, do filming, editing, and sort of learning. Here are the days that are crappers.
Monday, March 16, 2009
The one with the Oral Exams
PART ONE
The dark sky thunders away in the horizon, foolishly chasing the flashes of light that hide secretly behind the dark clouds, shielding the earth from the rays of the sulking sun. Two armies march in unison stomping of boots, faces grim with anger and hatred, muscles tightened and alert, looking for a fight to pick, for a reason to kill or die. They selected a spot, an empty field, whose grass has gone brown with death, and whose few trees bear nothing but ominous branches and the ever-present squawk of a circling vulture. They march on until a single half-mile divides the two army, grey with sweat and dirt. Nothing but the merciless wind makes a noise. Slowly, the commanding general draws his rusty blade into the air. "CHARGE!" he thunders, challenging the sky's supremacy. "KILL!" retaliates the opposing General, his sword up high in sky. The two armies begin a relentless charge into each other, sounding off with a battle cry, inspired straight from the deepest level of hell.
There was a clanging of metal.
There was the final voices of the dead.
There was the sound of the merciless wind.
Blood painted the grass in a shimmering red running deep into the earth. It begins to rain.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
PART TWO
Rain pours onto the field, washing it of the sins and crimes so brutally committed. Blood runs off, the redness dilutes and the field, cleanse of the evil that had become of it. And then, a beautiful chorus emerges, its origin could only be that of the Heavenly Paradise. The rain stops and the clouds begin to disperse as the notes of the heavenly voice flow through the now merciful wind. The energised Sun, reclaims its authority in the sky, shaming the dark clouds away. As the light of Kings hit so gently upon the earth soil, it brings to it life. Light brings about the Green grass, revived from the crass it was. Trees blossomed into rich greenery, thick and lustrous in its branches that bear flowers of the brightest colours God had granted so kindly. Winged Angels now emerge from the clouds, still singing the purest essence of the universe. Woodland creatures emerges, frolicking in the life of the gorgeous field. The angels bless the land, with prayer and song. The land never to be touched again by the hands of the harmful.
Part One is my Chinese Oral Examination.
Part Two is my English Oral Examination.
The dark sky thunders away in the horizon, foolishly chasing the flashes of light that hide secretly behind the dark clouds, shielding the earth from the rays of the sulking sun. Two armies march in unison stomping of boots, faces grim with anger and hatred, muscles tightened and alert, looking for a fight to pick, for a reason to kill or die. They selected a spot, an empty field, whose grass has gone brown with death, and whose few trees bear nothing but ominous branches and the ever-present squawk of a circling vulture. They march on until a single half-mile divides the two army, grey with sweat and dirt. Nothing but the merciless wind makes a noise. Slowly, the commanding general draws his rusty blade into the air. "CHARGE!" he thunders, challenging the sky's supremacy. "KILL!" retaliates the opposing General, his sword up high in sky. The two armies begin a relentless charge into each other, sounding off with a battle cry, inspired straight from the deepest level of hell.
There was a clanging of metal.
There was the final voices of the dead.
There was the sound of the merciless wind.
Blood painted the grass in a shimmering red running deep into the earth. It begins to rain.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
PART TWO
Rain pours onto the field, washing it of the sins and crimes so brutally committed. Blood runs off, the redness dilutes and the field, cleanse of the evil that had become of it. And then, a beautiful chorus emerges, its origin could only be that of the Heavenly Paradise. The rain stops and the clouds begin to disperse as the notes of the heavenly voice flow through the now merciful wind. The energised Sun, reclaims its authority in the sky, shaming the dark clouds away. As the light of Kings hit so gently upon the earth soil, it brings to it life. Light brings about the Green grass, revived from the crass it was. Trees blossomed into rich greenery, thick and lustrous in its branches that bear flowers of the brightest colours God had granted so kindly. Winged Angels now emerge from the clouds, still singing the purest essence of the universe. Woodland creatures emerges, frolicking in the life of the gorgeous field. The angels bless the land, with prayer and song. The land never to be touched again by the hands of the harmful.
Part One is my Chinese Oral Examination.
Part Two is my English Oral Examination.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The one where I downgraded
Finally! Cracking open the blog.
HELLO MY FELLOW BLOG FANS!!
- cricket noises -
NICE TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN!
- several dustballs blow by -
Right.
This Friday we are going to have a Parent-Teacher Meeting. On Monday, we are having some motivational camp. Both of them have parents attending some O level talk. I believe that is the 4th O Level talk my parent(s) have been forced to attend.
Strangely, my parents are grumbling more about the meeting than I am. Something about waking up early and driving to my school and all that.
I could be like other blogs and blog about how my good-ish grades made me happy-ish. But that would be boring wont it?
Dawn asked me whether or not I had many friends. I replied, asking her define friends. Whether you mean friends you would seek out to be with or friends whose presence is just so convienient. She clarified it as the second one and I assumed that I have about 200 of those friends. They did not quite understand what I meant. Later, I overheard that she was trying to explain her relations with several people and the status of "friends" and I jumped in and explain to her that this relation is similar to the one i described.
"True Friends are people who wait for you, when you get left behind in a group, because you need to tie your shoelace. True friends will wait there til they are tied again"
is what i told her.
Friends are a gem a piece. Its hard to find a true diamond among all the Zirconium.
Oh right I downgraded to Basic Chinese. I dont know why people insist on saying I dropped it. I didnt! I just opted for a simpler version! I DOWNGRADED!!!!
HELLO MY FELLOW BLOG FANS!!
- cricket noises -
NICE TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN!
- several dustballs blow by -
Right.
This Friday we are going to have a Parent-Teacher Meeting. On Monday, we are having some motivational camp. Both of them have parents attending some O level talk. I believe that is the 4th O Level talk my parent(s) have been forced to attend.
Strangely, my parents are grumbling more about the meeting than I am. Something about waking up early and driving to my school and all that.
I could be like other blogs and blog about how my good-ish grades made me happy-ish. But that would be boring wont it?
Dawn asked me whether or not I had many friends. I replied, asking her define friends. Whether you mean friends you would seek out to be with or friends whose presence is just so convienient. She clarified it as the second one and I assumed that I have about 200 of those friends. They did not quite understand what I meant. Later, I overheard that she was trying to explain her relations with several people and the status of "friends" and I jumped in and explain to her that this relation is similar to the one i described.
"True Friends are people who wait for you, when you get left behind in a group, because you need to tie your shoelace. True friends will wait there til they are tied again"
is what i told her.
Friends are a gem a piece. Its hard to find a true diamond among all the Zirconium.
Oh right I downgraded to Basic Chinese. I dont know why people insist on saying I dropped it. I didnt! I just opted for a simpler version! I DOWNGRADED!!!!
Friday, February 20, 2009
The one with the Procastination
I wish my life was more exciting. I wished I had more things to do. I wished I was involved in like plenty of meaningful projects and that the teachers gave me more work to do. I would like to use the time i have more productively. But I cant. Im very ineffective that way. Had the teachers ordered me to finish revision chapter 3 to 18 by tomorrow, I would be right on my ass immediatly working it off. Every night after school, when I head home, I make myself excuses.
"Its alright, I had a long day at school, let me watch a little TV"
"An extra half hour wont hurt!"
"Its only an hour til dinner, ill start work AFTER it"
"Dinner was filling, I need to rest a bit, wont hurt to watch TV"
"Whoops, its late night time to sleep"
And it happens every night. Worst still, last night I watched TV while doing my Social Study SBQs. I should be studying now. Yet I feel like goofy off. You know what? Im going to study now! Im going to revise my E math! Shorty right after this post is done!
Shaddup...
I hope I get into SJII, I think I really need it. From what I hear, the amount of work poured will keep me busy. To be honest, I like the part where after you do a good few hours of work, you stand up, stretch and say "Ah that was time well spent!"
Bleh...My life...
"Its alright, I had a long day at school, let me watch a little TV"
"An extra half hour wont hurt!"
"Its only an hour til dinner, ill start work AFTER it"
"Dinner was filling, I need to rest a bit, wont hurt to watch TV"
"Whoops, its late night time to sleep"
And it happens every night. Worst still, last night I watched TV while doing my Social Study SBQs. I should be studying now. Yet I feel like goofy off. You know what? Im going to study now! Im going to revise my E math! Shorty right after this post is done!
Shaddup...
I hope I get into SJII, I think I really need it. From what I hear, the amount of work poured will keep me busy. To be honest, I like the part where after you do a good few hours of work, you stand up, stretch and say "Ah that was time well spent!"
Bleh...My life...
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The one with the Valentines
Its Valentines day. Being a total geek I am, I found out how Valentines Day was created.
Valentines Day, was named after Saint Valentine, whose feast day lie on 14 Feb. Who interestingly enough, became a saint not because he was a man of love. No... That title is reserved only for Austin Powers. He was a saint because he was killed for his religion, a maryt of Christianity. Now... Im no genius. But how does one link, the bloody, hateful execuetion of a priest, with the Love machine that is Valentines Day?
Here is another fun fun fact. In South Korea, on the 14 Feb, Women give men chocolates as a token of love. On 14 March, Men reprocicate the appreciation by giving non-chocolate sweets. However on 14 April. Those who did not recieve any gifts, head to Chinese Restaurants and eat black noodles to mourn their single life.
Oh that is cruel....
Valentines Day, was named after Saint Valentine, whose feast day lie on 14 Feb. Who interestingly enough, became a saint not because he was a man of love. No... That title is reserved only for Austin Powers. He was a saint because he was killed for his religion, a maryt of Christianity. Now... Im no genius. But how does one link, the bloody, hateful execuetion of a priest, with the Love machine that is Valentines Day?
Here is another fun fun fact. In South Korea, on the 14 Feb, Women give men chocolates as a token of love. On 14 March, Men reprocicate the appreciation by giving non-chocolate sweets. However on 14 April. Those who did not recieve any gifts, head to Chinese Restaurants and eat black noodles to mourn their single life.
Oh that is cruel....
Saturday, February 7, 2009
The one where I shouted
So get this, the other day I was playing Tai Tee with, well the Tai Tee club of E4 (Qize, Amanda, Johnathon, the usual). It was during the Lit class when Ms Jaz wasnt in class. So as I was sorting my cards out, Hui Xiang started to throw pens at me. I glared at him, but he kept throwing them at me. When I refused to turned around to see him target me with the pens he threw them anyway. Any at that point, I snapped. I stood up and shouted at him, aiming the pen back in a high sweep. I saw him leap from his seat and cower by the metal closet.
I was loud, and ripped off a large one at Hui Xiang. And I turned around and saw that the class was silent. Or at least more silent. And for a moment, I felt like everyone was at that moment afraid of me, or at least respecting me.
Or so I thought. Or felt.
I sat down and played my pairs.
I was loud, and ripped off a large one at Hui Xiang. And I turned around and saw that the class was silent. Or at least more silent. And for a moment, I felt like everyone was at that moment afraid of me, or at least respecting me.
Or so I thought. Or felt.
I sat down and played my pairs.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The one with the Spanish Dub
Plug in your earphones,
Clear your mind.
Play the video.
Happy 6 months.
Spanish dub...
Clear your mind.
Play the video.
Happy 6 months.
Spanish dub...
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The one with the rotting chicken
Dear readers, thank you for being patient with me. Blogs are not on my priority with so much going on.
Im going to do a little run down on school
Mdm Sieow, Im starting to dislike her, not hate her, just dislike her. I find her "homework" assignments in class too dry to be consider putting in effort, too lax to consider as work. It really bugs me that we are doing newspaper writing, that has absolutely nothing to do with any of our English syllabus. Its been a month and yet, we havent recieve any serious work yet, no essays, no letters, no nothing. I wish Mrs Ng was teaching again. Can almost hear her voice going "Hamdan! Where is your homework!" before shoving her finger out of the door.
The Canteen food is starting to infect my taste buds. I cannot really enjoy it any more. Out of the 6 stores selling food, I only dare approach the Rice store, for the others are either too plain, too deadly or too disgusting. But after a good year, the potatoes are turning mushy, the chicken rots in my mouth, the vegetables begin to taste like paper.
I need real food...
I believe ACE will begin to push my nights later. I might have to adjust to 6hrs of sleep soon. Damn it, I need to live closer.
It is the last year of my secondary school. I plan to collect and collate the numbers and emails of close friends, and bond with others so as to leave an imprint my memory on them. Currently, I working on Eugene, Jay, Dyian, Aloysious, Amanda, Johnaton, Denton and Qi Ze. Friends are prescious, we should treasure all of them and heal all nastiness between each other.
Im going to do a little run down on school
Mdm Sieow, Im starting to dislike her, not hate her, just dislike her. I find her "homework" assignments in class too dry to be consider putting in effort, too lax to consider as work. It really bugs me that we are doing newspaper writing, that has absolutely nothing to do with any of our English syllabus. Its been a month and yet, we havent recieve any serious work yet, no essays, no letters, no nothing. I wish Mrs Ng was teaching again. Can almost hear her voice going "Hamdan! Where is your homework!" before shoving her finger out of the door.
The Canteen food is starting to infect my taste buds. I cannot really enjoy it any more. Out of the 6 stores selling food, I only dare approach the Rice store, for the others are either too plain, too deadly or too disgusting. But after a good year, the potatoes are turning mushy, the chicken rots in my mouth, the vegetables begin to taste like paper.
I need real food...
I believe ACE will begin to push my nights later. I might have to adjust to 6hrs of sleep soon. Damn it, I need to live closer.
It is the last year of my secondary school. I plan to collect and collate the numbers and emails of close friends, and bond with others so as to leave an imprint my memory on them. Currently, I working on Eugene, Jay, Dyian, Aloysious, Amanda, Johnaton, Denton and Qi Ze. Friends are prescious, we should treasure all of them and heal all nastiness between each other.
Monday, January 26, 2009
The one with the dialects
I have been thinking a lot about my roots these days. Old people have that effect on you.
I asked my Grandfather where he was born. He wrote it down on tissue stating "Fujian Province, Fuzhou City, Min Hou District, Gan Zhe Township, Mountain Front Village (山前村)" I went home and tracked its location. It is a cute little village in a valley not far from Fuzhou.
Some day, I'll visit there and talk with the family I have there. Especially about my Grandfather, who returns on a regular basis back to China. Apparently, we have this book that traces my genealogy back a few generations which I ask my grandfather to bring over when he comes house visiting.
You know, given the chance, I would like to relearn my Chinese again and given the chance, my maternal Teochew and paternal Hokkien Dialect. There is something worth preserving there, the lineage of my grandparents.
I asked my Grandfather where he was born. He wrote it down on tissue stating "Fujian Province, Fuzhou City, Min Hou District, Gan Zhe Township, Mountain Front Village (山前村)" I went home and tracked its location. It is a cute little village in a valley not far from Fuzhou.
Some day, I'll visit there and talk with the family I have there. Especially about my Grandfather, who returns on a regular basis back to China. Apparently, we have this book that traces my genealogy back a few generations which I ask my grandfather to bring over when he comes house visiting.
You know, given the chance, I would like to relearn my Chinese again and given the chance, my maternal Teochew and paternal Hokkien Dialect. There is something worth preserving there, the lineage of my grandparents.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The one where my grandma commited suicide
I had a reunion dinner with my maternal side at my dad's restaurant. It was better than I expected it to be. The participants, me, my sister, mother and maid, My grandma, my poor(money-wise) Aunt and her husband and my religious uncle and his wife and sister-in-law. Me and my sister are the only children from my Grandmother's 4 children. (My uncle died last year).
The dinner itself was rather fun, and I found out alot of things about my grandmother, for example, when she was a teenager, she tried to commit suicide because her host family treated her like a slave. The rope she was using was too short and snapped. She later refers to that as "Jesus' doing" and also as "heaven's will" for she is now rich with 4 children. I also found out that my deceased grandfather who passed away 2 months after I was born, enjoyed reading and studying history books, especially about China. A thick history book of Europe that my grandma gave me was his.
So...that explains alot.
The dinner itself was rather fun, and I found out alot of things about my grandmother, for example, when she was a teenager, she tried to commit suicide because her host family treated her like a slave. The rope she was using was too short and snapped. She later refers to that as "Jesus' doing" and also as "heaven's will" for she is now rich with 4 children. I also found out that my deceased grandfather who passed away 2 months after I was born, enjoyed reading and studying history books, especially about China. A thick history book of Europe that my grandma gave me was his.
So...that explains alot.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The one with the heavily exposed underwear
Chinese New Year
Whoopee? Im just thinking about ALL the amount of weight I might put on if those goodies keep tempting me. They keep arriving by the truckload...My parents received a hamper.
Im tired. Too tired, let me sleep, let me rest.
I was in the Dance Room today, training some of the juniors how to work the camera. What can I say, I sympathise with Stacie, having to deal with a whole lot of rather inflexible stiffs, partly because they wore full school uniform to the class. It was funny, seeing the Sec 2 girls attempt Stacie's stretches as they pushed down their skirts in a futile to cover their underwear that is heavily exposed in the wall mirror in front of them while failing at the stretches themselves. I saw colour of every kind.
The four dance boys mimic the girls very well when they were doing a song to the Chicago soundtrack. Funnay stuff.
Out of 259 English words, Singaporeans use the British variant 107 times while the American Variant 152 times
Whoopee? Im just thinking about ALL the amount of weight I might put on if those goodies keep tempting me. They keep arriving by the truckload...My parents received a hamper.
Im tired. Too tired, let me sleep, let me rest.
I was in the Dance Room today, training some of the juniors how to work the camera. What can I say, I sympathise with Stacie, having to deal with a whole lot of rather inflexible stiffs, partly because they wore full school uniform to the class. It was funny, seeing the Sec 2 girls attempt Stacie's stretches as they pushed down their skirts in a futile to cover their underwear that is heavily exposed in the wall mirror in front of them while failing at the stretches themselves. I saw colour of every kind.
The four dance boys mimic the girls very well when they were doing a song to the Chicago soundtrack. Funnay stuff.
Out of 259 English words, Singaporeans use the British variant 107 times while the American Variant 152 times
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The one with the Islamic Hub
I read in the newspaper that used the phrase "Singapore Islamic Hub". The article was about the reopening of a new mosque.
What is with the Singapore's Government obsession with the word "hub"?
So far we are a Green Hub, a Transport hub, a "Cultural" Hub, a Tourist Hub, a food Hub, a media hub, an aerospace hub and now, an Islamic hub.
My sister joked saying that Singapore would agree to anything with the word hub in it.
A:"This new proposal will make Singapore a Drug and Coccaine hub"
B:"Hub! That means it's good! Approve!"
My stupid's neighbour's son threw a huge party last night which lasted some time til 3. I hate them all with the boiling anger i conceal in my swirling stomach. Fortuanatly, from all my days at ignoring idiots at school, I slept soundly last night. Unfortunatly for my parents, they heard how two of the idiots wanted to fight with each other and in an angry puff went just outside my gate to sort out their troubles in a "super macho manly" way, and by that i mean idiotic, as 20-something drunk assholes are.
Anyway, if they ever throw a party like that again, Im calling the cops.
But my father sternly told me not to and just asked me to close my windows.
Being Chinese sometimes sucks.
What is with the Singapore's Government obsession with the word "hub"?
So far we are a Green Hub, a Transport hub, a "Cultural" Hub, a Tourist Hub, a food Hub, a media hub, an aerospace hub and now, an Islamic hub.
My sister joked saying that Singapore would agree to anything with the word hub in it.
A:"This new proposal will make Singapore a Drug and Coccaine hub"
B:"Hub! That means it's good! Approve!"
My stupid's neighbour's son threw a huge party last night which lasted some time til 3. I hate them all with the boiling anger i conceal in my swirling stomach. Fortuanatly, from all my days at ignoring idiots at school, I slept soundly last night. Unfortunatly for my parents, they heard how two of the idiots wanted to fight with each other and in an angry puff went just outside my gate to sort out their troubles in a "super macho manly" way, and by that i mean idiotic, as 20-something drunk assholes are.
Anyway, if they ever throw a party like that again, Im calling the cops.
But my father sternly told me not to and just asked me to close my windows.
Being Chinese sometimes sucks.
Friday, January 16, 2009
The one with the imperfect moment
I have never been very open with my feelings, especially regarding feelings of sadness, nervousness, worry or shame. I keep them with me, safely locked in my mind, for my own personal use. I don’t trust people well, I don’t apologise well, I don’t sympathise well. James described me as “A nice version of me.” The version he was describing was the empty spiral of nothing that swirled where my compassion for people is. It is difficult for me to drag out deep sincere feelings to people much of the time, even if I want to.
For example, Today, due to my own careless stupidity, I accidentally let my test tubes, spew heated chemicals on Ivan. I immediately apologised, repeating “I’m sorry” a couple of times. But through it all, even though I really was apologetic, I was thinking, what is the point? He still has chemicals on him, saying it wont take it off. But protocol expects what protocol dictates, and I just kept on repeating it.
So when somebody, somebody great, penetrates my thick hull of a emotional barrier, it is a brilliant achievement. Let all who read this remember that.
An imperfect moment, an imperfect time
Doesn’t matter when it is with the person, who in your eyes is perfection.
For example, Today, due to my own careless stupidity, I accidentally let my test tubes, spew heated chemicals on Ivan. I immediately apologised, repeating “I’m sorry” a couple of times. But through it all, even though I really was apologetic, I was thinking, what is the point? He still has chemicals on him, saying it wont take it off. But protocol expects what protocol dictates, and I just kept on repeating it.
So when somebody, somebody great, penetrates my thick hull of a emotional barrier, it is a brilliant achievement. Let all who read this remember that.
An imperfect moment, an imperfect time
Doesn’t matter when it is with the person, who in your eyes is perfection.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The one with the "poopings"
I never knew I could go constantly day after day, studying for some (4-5hrs) long periods of time and being studious at it. I thought that after some few days, I'll begin to get lazy and completely screw work to go goof off. But now, I look forward to it. As the school day is about to end, my brain and body are itching to tell the teacher of whatever subject to shut up so I can go home and start work. Creepy eh? I hope my dilligent attitude will reward me. We'll see during Mid-Year. If I score 12 points and below (currently 19), then its paying off.
I had diahorrea today. Why? I dont know. How many times? It took me 4 good "poopings" to properly cleanse my bowels. This is isnt good blog talk, im switching the topic.
As you know, Ghee Wei and I have been on odds with each other since last year. For those well informed, you would know we were "best friends" that later got cold and started to despise each other. We ignored each other totally from Feb-June 2008 and from Nov til now. I cant really stand his voice. It irks me and makes me think about how fake, fraud and superficial he has become since Secondary 2. Quite some of you agree, some dont.
The strangest thing was that on New Years Eve, he sent me a message asking if I wanted to go for a coffee and just talk. I, wanting to continue my "splendid Isolation!" at him, decided to reject him. But Ivan made me realise that it was hypocritical to reject him since he decided to entertain me when I asked to end the feud.
We at first agreed to meet, but he had plans and it was cancelled. School started then and Ghee Wei has yet to make any reference to it, which is fine with me. Im stilling waiting for him to approach me first since it was his idea. I give him ample chances by sitting in front of him every lunch time. Ho hum.
While I dont really feel that irritated anymore when he walks into the room, He isnt my most favourite person to be trapped with in a jammed elevator for 6 hours.
Perhaps I'll make the first move. I am curious to know why he messaged me in the first place. But currently, things are okay.
Quam terribilis est
Inquit locus iste.
I had diahorrea today. Why? I dont know. How many times? It took me 4 good "poopings" to properly cleanse my bowels. This is isnt good blog talk, im switching the topic.
As you know, Ghee Wei and I have been on odds with each other since last year. For those well informed, you would know we were "best friends" that later got cold and started to despise each other. We ignored each other totally from Feb-June 2008 and from Nov til now. I cant really stand his voice. It irks me and makes me think about how fake, fraud and superficial he has become since Secondary 2. Quite some of you agree, some dont.
The strangest thing was that on New Years Eve, he sent me a message asking if I wanted to go for a coffee and just talk. I, wanting to continue my "splendid Isolation!" at him, decided to reject him. But Ivan made me realise that it was hypocritical to reject him since he decided to entertain me when I asked to end the feud.
We at first agreed to meet, but he had plans and it was cancelled. School started then and Ghee Wei has yet to make any reference to it, which is fine with me. Im stilling waiting for him to approach me first since it was his idea. I give him ample chances by sitting in front of him every lunch time. Ho hum.
While I dont really feel that irritated anymore when he walks into the room, He isnt my most favourite person to be trapped with in a jammed elevator for 6 hours.
Perhaps I'll make the first move. I am curious to know why he messaged me in the first place. But currently, things are okay.
Quam terribilis est
Inquit locus iste.
Friday, January 9, 2009
The one with the mini-bikes, nite, lockers and stupid neighbours
And with it, it disappears behind the walls and shadows. The wind coldly bellows, shaking the creaking branches of the trees above, a downpour of dead brown leaves that litter the dimly lit street. Children were still out, their laughter just a knotch higher than the wind, playing with mini-bikes and scooters, being told by their mothers and maids, or a combination of both to come in for dinner. A single cloud blotches out the sun, save for tiny pockets of streaming light which otherwise would be darkness. The branches sway again, more leaves impersonate snowfall. The cold wind laughs with the disappearing children. I was cold, so cold that I hugged myself, hand to shoulder in an X to recapture some of that loss but prescious warmth. It lingered a few more seconds, a few short yet long, regrettable yet worth-while seconds.
I turned the corner and walked home, on an empty street of abandoned mini-bikes and scooters.
-------------------------------------------------
Hui Xiang seems to be bugging me more and more these days. He hasnt changed at all since last year, still fooling around, still trying to get around the teachers. Sometimes he seems like he is doing all right, copying notes from the teachers powerpoints, being attentive in math class. But much of the time, he divides it between physically abusing the people around him (me included), escaping from homework, bullying the weaker teachers, comparing British "night" with American "nite" and stating that the British one is better 'cause the "G" looks like a cock' or something like that.
Perhaps, it is O' Level year and I just wish he would settle down calmly.
Perhaps, it is because he is sitting right behind me.
Or perhaps, he seems to be dragging Ivan down with him to the sinking brigg.
Im expecting backlash from him when Monday comes, people tend not to like it when I voiced my thinking in my own journal.
Moving on... I got a new locker, number 3225 on the second floor! They were out of second row lockers (from the top) so I got the third row, only to realise that I was tall enough to use the 1st row.
Now, I wont, WONT be accepting any request for people to store their stuff in my locker. For they didnt wait in that super long-ass queue full of tiny shortones (Secondary One Students), they didnt fork out 30 bucks or any portion so I owe them nothing. However, because Beverly and Lauren had entertained me and stayed in the queue with me while I waited, you two are the exception (provided the request is reasonable in my terms)
Moving on again...
My stupid neighbour has a fond habit for stupidly throwing stupid small or large parties and get-togethers with his stupid friends, whatever. My bedroom windows face his stupid front porch. And when his stupid friends start to stupidly drink, the stupidly talk loudly and stupidly cuss and shout and exclaim in their stupid dialects and Engnese (Mixed English and Chinese). I cant stand it.
Stupid neighbour.
I turned the corner and walked home, on an empty street of abandoned mini-bikes and scooters.
-------------------------------------------------
Hui Xiang seems to be bugging me more and more these days. He hasnt changed at all since last year, still fooling around, still trying to get around the teachers. Sometimes he seems like he is doing all right, copying notes from the teachers powerpoints, being attentive in math class. But much of the time, he divides it between physically abusing the people around him (me included), escaping from homework, bullying the weaker teachers, comparing British "night" with American "nite" and stating that the British one is better 'cause the "G" looks like a cock' or something like that.
Perhaps, it is O' Level year and I just wish he would settle down calmly.
Perhaps, it is because he is sitting right behind me.
Or perhaps, he seems to be dragging Ivan down with him to the sinking brigg.
Im expecting backlash from him when Monday comes, people tend not to like it when I voiced my thinking in my own journal.
Moving on... I got a new locker, number 3225 on the second floor! They were out of second row lockers (from the top) so I got the third row, only to realise that I was tall enough to use the 1st row.
Now, I wont, WONT be accepting any request for people to store their stuff in my locker. For they didnt wait in that super long-ass queue full of tiny shortones (Secondary One Students), they didnt fork out 30 bucks or any portion so I owe them nothing. However, because Beverly and Lauren had entertained me and stayed in the queue with me while I waited, you two are the exception (provided the request is reasonable in my terms)
Moving on again...
My stupid neighbour has a fond habit for stupidly throwing stupid small or large parties and get-togethers with his stupid friends, whatever. My bedroom windows face his stupid front porch. And when his stupid friends start to stupidly drink, the stupidly talk loudly and stupidly cuss and shout and exclaim in their stupid dialects and Engnese (Mixed English and Chinese). I cant stand it.
Stupid neighbour.
Monday, January 5, 2009
The one with an Ulcer
I could not eat, I could not drink, and it hurts to talk.
And Im not talking about meeting the Sec Ones
I bit myself on my lip 3 days ago and now am suffering the repucussions of it. The ulcer has swollen and is now tucked neatly between my two lips and a tooth. If I try to eat anything, it will rub it and enrage it. Any type of hot food as well as sauce, spice and salt makes me tear uncontrobably. Drinking water is no better, somehow, it will cause the ulcer to just itch and throb in pain. I would drink it from my mouth's left side, but that causes me to drool like an idiot. I eat food like I cant swallow, at one point it hurted so much I stop talking.
I swear I am being punished. Im just not sure for what, but Im definetly feeling apologetic about it.
School is starting to pick up pace again. Soon regular lessons witll return. Im trying to follow Mr Ho (Fu Chew, not Danny) and put in about 3-4 hrs of self study a day. Currently most of it is devoted to maths. Wish me luck.
Israel is a bastard
Hamas really suck
Both are responsible
for the bullets Gaza tries to duck
And Im not talking about meeting the Sec Ones
I bit myself on my lip 3 days ago and now am suffering the repucussions of it. The ulcer has swollen and is now tucked neatly between my two lips and a tooth. If I try to eat anything, it will rub it and enrage it. Any type of hot food as well as sauce, spice and salt makes me tear uncontrobably. Drinking water is no better, somehow, it will cause the ulcer to just itch and throb in pain. I would drink it from my mouth's left side, but that causes me to drool like an idiot. I eat food like I cant swallow, at one point it hurted so much I stop talking.
I swear I am being punished. Im just not sure for what, but Im definetly feeling apologetic about it.
School is starting to pick up pace again. Soon regular lessons witll return. Im trying to follow Mr Ho (Fu Chew, not Danny) and put in about 3-4 hrs of self study a day. Currently most of it is devoted to maths. Wish me luck.
Israel is a bastard
Hamas really suck
Both are responsible
for the bullets Gaza tries to duck
Friday, January 2, 2009
The one where the immature, stupid Sec 2s are now immature, stupid Sec 3s
Same shoes
Same pants
Same shirt
Same glasses
Same bag
Same craptastic attitude
Different year
And people ask why I slept through the New Year.
As you know (If you dont then you are either a foreigner or really late for school), school has started. I woke up 6 and donned my uniform. The green nursy look has a calming effect of strange familiarity. I ate some food, wore my mismatched socks and realised for the first time.
Im a Secondary 4 Student.
Oh bloody hell.
Things felt all too much the same, all too safe and too uneventful. But the linger sensation of the Os just breathing down on your neck is scary. There is change, and it may not be good.
I could not decide which was more scary.
The fact I am in Sec 4.
The fact the Pinoneers are gone.
The fact that the immature, stupid Sec 2s are now immature, stupid Sec 3s.
This feeling is just all too distance and close. I am afraid and comforted.
On the LRT ride, I was talking with Karen about our new teachers and I stated on how I despise Mr. Tan Hai Seng and was hoping for a new one. No such luck.
During morning reading period, two black shoes thrusted their tips in front of my face. And I recongnise those two skinny legs anywhere. I let out a soft moan...
Short Conversation piece I had with one of the pinoneers after school.
Aronnax(Me)
It was weird going to school without the pinoneers...
Felix
haha, you'll get used to it
Aronnax
None of you guys...And the scariest thing..Im Sec 4!
Gah!
Felix
haha, you're the seniors now
Aronnax
I dont wanna take O level...it scares me..
Felix
lol
Aronnax
I want to be young and beautiful! Not old and ugly like you!
Felix
o.o
lol, im just 1 year older
Aronnax
Old I say! Old!!!
Felix
lol
whatever
;D
Aronnax
how are Mr and Mrs Low?
Felix
still the same
talk on phone alot
Same pants
Same shirt
Same glasses
Same bag
Same craptastic attitude
Different year
And people ask why I slept through the New Year.
As you know (If you dont then you are either a foreigner or really late for school), school has started. I woke up 6 and donned my uniform. The green nursy look has a calming effect of strange familiarity. I ate some food, wore my mismatched socks and realised for the first time.
Im a Secondary 4 Student.
Oh bloody hell.
Things felt all too much the same, all too safe and too uneventful. But the linger sensation of the Os just breathing down on your neck is scary. There is change, and it may not be good.
I could not decide which was more scary.
The fact I am in Sec 4.
The fact the Pinoneers are gone.
The fact that the immature, stupid Sec 2s are now immature, stupid Sec 3s.
This feeling is just all too distance and close. I am afraid and comforted.
On the LRT ride, I was talking with Karen about our new teachers and I stated on how I despise Mr. Tan Hai Seng and was hoping for a new one. No such luck.
During morning reading period, two black shoes thrusted their tips in front of my face. And I recongnise those two skinny legs anywhere. I let out a soft moan...
Short Conversation piece I had with one of the pinoneers after school.
Aronnax(Me)
It was weird going to school without the pinoneers...
Felix
haha, you'll get used to it
Aronnax
None of you guys...And the scariest thing..Im Sec 4!
Gah!
Felix
haha, you're the seniors now
Aronnax
I dont wanna take O level...it scares me..
Felix
lol
Aronnax
I want to be young and beautiful! Not old and ugly like you!
Felix
o.o
lol, im just 1 year older
Aronnax
Old I say! Old!!!
Felix
lol
whatever
;D
Aronnax
how are Mr and Mrs Low?
Felix
still the same
talk on phone alot
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